Watch this vide and the lyrics within:
“I’ve thrown away, so many things that could’ve been much more
“When I go down/I go down hard/And I take everything I’ve learned/And teach myself some disregard/When I go down/It hurts to hit rock bottom/And of the things that got me there/I think if only I had fought them”
“Any control I thought I had/Just slips right through my hands”
“Yet you love me/And that consumes me/And I’ll stand up again/And do so willingly”
“And from my lips/The words I choose to say/Seem Pathetic/But it’s a fallen man’s praise/Because I love You/Oh God, I love You”
“When I go down/I lift my eyes to You/I won’t look very far/Cause You’ll be there/With open arms/To lift me up again/To lift me up again”
I love that song.
Basically, that’s how I feel right now.
My last post (Am I a bad sponsor?), makes me really feel this song.
I just need to lifted up again.
I feel like Paul in Romans 7:15-25
I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[a] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
21So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; 23but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. 24What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? 25Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!
So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.
I do what I don’t want to, but I know it’s wrong.
“For in my inner being, I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members”
I want to honor you with my life.
Take away my sinful desires.
I don’t wanna go down anymore.
I want to honor you with my life, not disappoint you.
Please, Father, please.
Your unworthy son,