When I go down…

Watch this vide and the lyrics within:

“I’ve thrown away, so many things that could’ve been much more

“When I go down/I go down hard/And I take everything I’ve learned/And teach myself some disregard/When I go down/It hurts to hit rock bottom/And of the things that got me there/I think if only I had fought them”

“Any control I thought I had/Just slips right through my hands”

“Yet you love me/And that consumes me/And I’ll stand up again/And do so willingly”

“And from my lips/The words I choose to say/Seem Pathetic/But it’s a fallen man’s praise/Because I love You/Oh God, I love You”

“When I go down/I lift my eyes to You/I won’t look very far/Cause You’ll be there/With open arms/To lift me up again/To lift me up again”

Wow.

I love that song.

Basically, that’s how I feel right now.

My last post (Am I a bad sponsor?), makes me really feel this song.

I just need to lifted up again.

But…

…It hurts.

I feel like Paul in Romans 7:15-25

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[a] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

21So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; 23but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. 24What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? 25Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!
So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.

I do what I don’t want to, but I know it’s wrong.

“For in my inner being, I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members”

God,

I want to honor you with my life.

Take away my sinful desires.

I don’t wanna go down anymore.

I want to honor you with my life, not disappoint you.

Please, Father, please.

Your unworthy son,

Zach

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About Zach Younkin

I'm currently enrolled at Western Governors University, pursuing my degree in Accounting. I'm hoping that this blog provides you with some encouragement to be what God has promised you. This blog collects dust, which is unfortunate. Keep your eyes open for some sporadic blog posts. I spend more time on Twitter, so go follow me there. @zachyounkin
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